Citit - The Ugly Duckling Debutante by Rachel Van Dyken

Author:Rachel Van Dyken [Dyken, Rachel Van]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-11-06T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eleven

Did she accept him then? Was this her way of telling him as much? He felt too vulnerable. The air in his lungs whooshed out as her hand reached out to touch his. Her words affected him—no they ruined him. He felt as if she would give up the entire world to make him happy; how did this happen? How did they begin to care for one another? It couldn’t happen; he wouldn’t let it. It would destroy her. She must understand how potentially dangerous he was for her.

“Did you find any other suitors to your liking? All beliefs aside, I guess that a woman of your nature bores easily. Once we marry, I will be happy to turn the other way if you find your fancy elsewhere.”

Of all the horrible things to say, that had to be the worst he could have come up with. He felt immediate remorse after the words came out, but it was too late. Tears were already forming in little pools around her eyes. She pulled her hand back as if stung and rose from the bench.

“Wait!” He pulled her down into his lap. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…” He couldn’t speak; he was useless when women became emotional. Her tears were now slowly dropping down her cheeks cascading over her sensuous lips. Instantly he wanted to pull her close and lick the salt from them. Obviously he was going mad, for it was remarkable that he would find her tears arousing, but then again, everything about her made his body respond in a physical way, why not her tears?

She tried to pull away, but he held her firm until she relaxed against his chest. “I never meant to hurt you; in fact, my intention is only to protect you. If you only understood—if you only knew!”

“Knew what?” she choked. “How much you despise me? How much you hate me? You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to want me either. Will anything ever satisfy you?”

“I don’t know. I wish…” He made a sudden grab for her wrists.

She tried to pull away again. This was not going well. Before a thought of propriety could stop him, he pulled her into a deep kiss. It seemed to be the only way to silence both of them, and one of the only ways he could show her exactly how he felt, even if it meant she would know it was a part of him she would never possess. She would have passion in her life, yes, but she would never have his heart. She deserved one that wasn’t already worn and broken. After all, how could he offer her something less than whole? It wasn’t romantic nor was it fair. It had been ruined so long ago. Years of buried emotions and secrets threatened to spill out of him. His heart told him he could trust her with his secret; his head said he should have walked away when he was still able.

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